Priest for One (Judges 17-18)

Judges is so random; it keeps changing up protagonists. I feel like I’m reading One Hundred Years of Solitude again (I don’t care what you say, [P]Op[e]rah – that book is a snooze).

Judges 17 turns to this character named Micah, whose makes his first appearance by pulling a fast one on his own mother. His mother is bewailing the eleven hundred pieces of silver of hers that went missing until Micah’s like, “Don’t worry Mom – I’ve had it all along. Because I stole it”. His mother is so happy to have her silver returned to her that she barely bats an eye and takes two hundred of it to get some idols made (here we go again…). Obviously, she’s one of those mothers who thinks her son can do no wrong and would probably testify in court on his behalf even if, say, all evidence pointed to the fact that he raped his prom date in the backseat of her Corsica.

Once the idols are made, a wandering Levite shows up, looking for a place to crash. Micah obliges him and somehow manages to turn his into his own personal priest (and I guess butler, too). There musn’t have been a regulating body at the time. I talked to this guy one time at a bar who claimed to be a minister capable of marrying people. He said you could register to do it online, the only qualification being whether or not you have an internet connection. Times haven’t changed much.

In Judges 18, a bunch of weird people called the Danites come along and steal Micah’s idols. They also convince the Levite that it would be way cooler to be a priest to them instead of just one guy (fair enough). He’s got zero loyality and is easily swayed. He takes off with the Danites, leaving Micah to lay out his own clothes on the bed in the morning. The Danites show him a real good time by raiding a town called Laish and then torching it.

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Published in: on May 25, 2011 at 3:09 am  Leave a Comment  
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