Father-Son Picnic (Samuel 16-17)

I think that deep down, every guy wants to kick the shit out of his own dad. There are just too many stories about it. Zeus and Cronos, Oedipus and Laius, Luke Skywalker and what’s-his-face and the list goes on.

King David and his son Absalom are at war and Absalom is frantically looking for a strategy because David is trying to track him down. This really annoying guy named Abishai slows down David while he’s on the road by alternately hurling stones and dust at him. I don’t know why David doesn’t just strike him down but he treats him like a harmless heckler in a moderately-attended stand-up show. Maybe he respects him. Abishai is alone so he’s got some balls at least.

Ahithophel gives Absalom some advice: “Go into your father’s concubines, whom he has left to keep the house; and all Israel will hear that you have made yourself odious to your father, and the hands of all who are with you will be strengthened” (Sam 16:21). Translation = rape a whole bunch of women to make everyone scared of you. Deft political strategizing. I’m surprised Bush didn’t rely on that one.

Two of David’s spies almost get caught by Absalom’s men but they manage to escape by hiding in a well. Smart. Remember when that baby fell into that well in the 80s? Well, I remember watching it live on TV. And they made a TV movie out of it. what happened to made-for-TV movies? They’re a dying breed.

But this. THIS is even better. I effing LOVE when I find stuff like THIS:

Mr. D makes history come ALIVE!

Want the whole plot? Here you go: School_of_Life

Spoiler alert! He’s unconventional!

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Published in: on June 13, 2011 at 2:31 am  Leave a Comment  
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