With His OWN Spear (Samuel 23-24)

Samuel 23 names all of King David’s posse and some of them are pretty bad-ass. For example:

Joshebbasshebeth (no typo) killed eight hundred guys at once with his spear – eight hundred!

Benaiah killed a lion in a pit “on a day the snow had fallen” (Sam 23:20) – in inclement weather!

Benaiah also killed a handsome Egyptian with his own spear – a handsome Egyptian!

In Samuel 24, God gets pissy again and gets David to take a tally of all the Israelites. The sole purpose of this is so God knows just how many people to smote when he throws down the next plage (it’s coming). Why an omniscient being can’t do numbers doesn’t square with my concept of omniscience (apparently it’s much more complex than being all-knowing). Whatever. God brings pestilence – probably a nice bubonic plague – to the Israelites and seventy thousand of them are wiped out. Then – get this – God totally passes the buck and basically says, “An angel did it” because he feels bad about it. God has guilt? Again, doesn’t square with my concept of omniscience.

This movie blew chunks. I can’t believe I rented it.

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Published in: on June 21, 2011 at 5:56 am  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Is that an actual movie?! I thought you were just nifty with photoshop and being funny.

    • It’s an ACTUAL movie. Love digging up that kind of stuff.


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