A Recipe for Angel Food Cake (Kings 19)

When you single-handedly slay a bunch of prophets, word gets around. Jezebel (one biblical name that, oddly enough, hasn’t regained popularity) is pissed that Elijah did this and threatens to kill him herself (this lady’s sassy – watch out) so he flees into the wilderness, which is where all the kids are fleeing these days.

Elijah parks himself under a broom tree, an inviting bit of nature that looks like this:

No hammock?

While he’s sleeping under a broom tree, an angel shows up (who – let’s face it – probably watched him sleep for a while) and wakes him by saying, “Arise and eat” (Kin 19:5). Elijah opens his eyes to find a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water waiting for him. I imagine this cake to be like the flourless chocolate cake at Terroni, which is spectacular. I thought it was clever to title this post referencing angel food cake but in actuality, I loathe angel food cake. It takes me back to the late 80s when I was a pudgy pony-tailed child on my first self-imposed diet who kept seeing angel food cake touted as a “sensible dessert” in Chateleine, a magazine I read by the pool after doing the calisthenics along with a morning exercise show. Who the fuck likes angel food cake? It is not delicious. And what’s worse, it’s boring. You might as well put blueberries on a Saltine.

Anyways, Elijah is struggling with what he did and he calls upon the Lord. He doesn’t get the Lord but he is treated to a variety of impressive meteorological events: crazy winds sweep by him, an earthquake comes, and then a huge fire. It says in the Bible that God wasn’t present in any of these events so I guess their significance is to show how alone and puny Elijah is. Eventually, God starts speaking to him and tells him, “Go, return on your way to the wildnerness of Damascus; and when you arrive, you shall annoint Hazael to be king over Syria; and Jehu the son of Nimshi you shall annoint to be king over Israel; and Elisha the son of Shapat of Abelmeholah you shall annoint to be prophet in your place. And him who escapes from the sword of Hazael shall Jehu slay; and him who escapes the sword of Jehu shall Elish slay. Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, and all the knees that have not bowed to Baal and every mouth that has not kissed him” (Kin 19:15-18). Okay – I get it. God is pitting his people against each other as punishment for – guess what – worshipping another god. I guess this is more fun for him to watch than a regular, old plague. I’m not sure how everyone’s going to take to Elijah going around annointing everyone different things. I suspect that the current king of Syria will be especially put out.

Published in: on July 8, 2011 at 2:58 am  Leave a Comment  
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