Stand Up for Yourself, Poindexter! (Job 1-2)

In this particular chapter of the Bible, we get to meet Job, a real goody-two-shoes and all-round doormat. At the start of the Book of Job, he’s got a lot going for him: tons of livestock, seven sons, three daughters, and probably a hot wife (relatively hot considering the decathalon of childbearing she’s endured). He’s done no wrong in his lifetime and God’s made something of a pet of him. In pops Satan who spends the majority of his time roaming the earth looking for trouble. God introduces Job to Satan as his start pupil and Satan says, “Oh yeah? No wonder he’s done no wrong. Look at all the good stuff he has. Take it all away and see what happens”. Job, standing idly by, allows God to take this wager. Soon, his lifestock get stolen and the house that all his children are partying in collapses on them and they all die.


Surprisingly, Job doesn’t freak out on God for causing his life to implode. Some time passes and Satan pops in again. God’s like, “See? See? This guy’s good. Look at all the shit we did to him and he’s not even pissed.” So Satan tells God that what they did wasn’t bad enough. God lets Satan afflict Job with digusting, oozing sores all over his body.


Still, Job says nothing; he does not “sin with his lips” (Job 2:10). In my estimation, Job is a severely repressed individual who has some mental issues. This describes most, if not all, fundamentalists out there today.

No big deal.

Published in: on January 10, 2012 at 2:50 am  Leave a Comment  
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