No More Whine-a-tribe: Job Finally Shuts Up (Job 30-37)

Job has been a trying chapter for me to read. I’ve given it some thought and I would say the reason is that Job is a major whiner and I hate whiners. I really do. Most people I know complain about the stupidest shit, like why they don’t own condos or how expensive organic avocados are. I usually cut off such whine-a-tribes (I’m working off of diatribe here – get it?) with statements like, “Well, you weren’t born with AIDS into a nearly inescapable prison of poverty and illiteracy.” Perspective, folks. If I’m feeling really edgy then I might also bring up female circumcision.

Job bellyaches about how God has “cast him into the mire” (Job 30:19) – which sounds bad – and how he’s “a brother of jackals and a companion of ostriches” (Job 30:29 – which doesn’t sound that bad to me since I’ve always wanted to ride an ostrich. Ostriches would be fun to ride in the same way those old-timey bikes with the huge front wheels (penny-farthing) would be fun to ride; because you’re high up and they’re just wobbly enough to make things exciting… will I crack my head open on the pavement… or won’t I? 

After Job finally shuts up the old guys who he’s speaking to tell him that God’s right and he’s wrong although they can’t cough up a satisfying argument. This one guy named Elihu goes on and on about all the wondrous things in the universe that God is responsible for (n.b. these thing have since been explained by SCIENCE) and how these wondrous things make it impossible to question God at all. His argument comes to the conclusion that Job just doesn’t “get” God, which makes Elihu sound like some desperate girl who wants to date God.

Hup hup hup.

Published in: on April 1, 2012 at 3:29 pm  Leave a Comment  
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