Flesh-Eating Dogs (Psalms 66-70)

I’m hoping Psalms turn the corner soon because they are bo-ring. David blathers on about how his enemies are going to get their comeuppance, and how God is going to be the one to deliver it. I think we’ve all heard that Old Testament God is a like a schoolyard bully and New Testament God is like the facilitator of a yoga retreat or a Landmark forum. On second thought, I think we’ve probably heard the former but not the latter. The latter is clear to me and my brain though.

Here’s some cool stuff that Old Testament God does:

“…shatter the heads of his enemies…” (Psalms 68:21) WHOA!

“…trample underfoot those who lust after tribute…” (Psalms 68:30) NO WAY!

Here’s some cool stuff that Old Testament God says:

“I will bring them back from Bashan/I will bring them back from the depths of the sea/that you may bathe your feet in blood/that the tongues of your dogs/may have their portion from the foe” (Psalms 68:22-23) WAIT – WHAT!? 

If you’re at all unsure of which God to believe in (Allah, Vishnu, Tuoni… Finnish god of the underworld who greets you with a frosty mug of frogs and worm upon arrival), this God would allow you to feed your dogs the flesh of your enemies.

Now here’s a dog food commercial from the Netherlands that made me laugh a little. Look for the moment when it seems the woman is so taken with the aroma of the canned dog food that it looks like she’s actually going to chow down on it. [Sidenote: my pal Ken who has negative 5% body fat once convinced me that the new trend in exercise nutrition was to eat canned dog food. “Better than protein powder,” he said.]

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Published in: on June 13, 2013 at 1:11 am  Leave a Comment  
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